This girl is more easily done than said...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
