Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
