So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize