We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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