That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
