He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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