He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize