Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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