Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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