dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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