no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
