That reminds me...we need to get swords
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
