What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
