Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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