I hate all girls vehemently.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
