My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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