she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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