just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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