If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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