plz talk dirty to me
Its about making memories worth repressing
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
