She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
