I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
