redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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