I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
