after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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