we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
