Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We're too hungover to prance.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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