Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
