That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
