I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
