it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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