i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just had sex on a roof
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
