We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
