Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
