I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
