i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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