She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I skipped work to stalk him.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
