Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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