If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
