"it" just moved
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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