i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
