just come out here and I will go home with you...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
