to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
