I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
