i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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