she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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