My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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