I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
