I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
