He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
