I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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