Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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