Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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