I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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