apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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