the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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